Randomness

yourladyphoenixblr-deactivated2 said: I've spent so much time focusing on the negatives I've forgotten the positives. Honey please don't leave me. I don't know what's gotten into me but I'm gonna find out and work this out for the both of us. Just please don't leave me. Btw are you ready for the fandom to know that you're taken? :)

thisisdaltonsusername:

Holy shit leave me alone

theartofnotwriting:

tastefullyoffensive:

Name Improvements for Everyday Stuff [x]

Previously: Crazy Ideas That Are Borderline Genius

SUGAR BAGELS.

(via thisisdaltonsusername)

zaccharine:

honestly my favorite thing ive ever made in photoshop is catloaf

image

my graphic arts teacher hung it on the wall in the ga computer lab

(via thisisdaltonsusername)

qvbit:

anomolisticbeauty:

malgosh:

moshita:

Anecdotes by medical practitioners 

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.

Reddit thread 

Hahah

Oh my god… I can’t decide if I should laugh or cry…

i’m cryign jesus fucking christ sex and childcare and general health education needs to be improved thousand fold 

(via thisisdaltonsusername)

onyxwhispers:

thrintagecats:

maudelynn:

INCOMING SHUFFLESNUFFLER DETECTED
AUTOMATED DEFENSE SYSTEMS ONLINE
snufflesnufflesnuffle

putting this here for when i get sads. 

omg instant happys

onyxwhispers:

thrintagecats:

maudelynn:

INCOMING SHUFFLESNUFFLER DETECTED

AUTOMATED DEFENSE SYSTEMS ONLINE

snufflesnufflesnuffle

putting this here for when i get sads. 

omg instant happys

(Source: elliedijulio, via zohmaigawdd)

thearmada4231:

It’s been 2,147 days since the Avatar finale and I’m still not over the fact that Zutara wasn’t canon

motherfuckingladyknight:

"One person wakes up screaming from nightmares and the other person comes into their room and comforts them and they fall asleep together" is the most overused cliche in fanfiction and I will never stop loving it.

athaliasgrey:

These compensate for Zutara never happening….